As we were driving, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw my son's eyes slowly fading into sleep. Before he could completely drift into his regular afternoon nap, he said, "Mom, it's perfect." I replied, "what is son?" and his response was, "everything." I smiled with a full heart at that moment, feeling so much gratitude for his pure and fresh perspective.
Later that evening, I pondered again about my son's words and his perspective on his experiences and life at this moment.
Of course, things are certainly not perfect, but in his eyes, it was because there was nothing more that he needed or desired. His heart was happy and full, and as a mother, that's all you can hope to provide for your kids.
Yes, he's only four years old, but children's thoughts (unfiltered and less jaded by the world's negativity) can bring a lot of insight and clarity. At this moment of reflection, I contemplated my own life and current experiences. It gave me a clear realization that perfect is just perspective. I then asked myself,
what is my current perspective on life? Is it based on truth?
Is it focused on what I have or don't have?
I don't know about you, but it's very easy to get caught up on achievements, goals, desires, and hopes for the future that we can forget to stop, acknowledge, and appreciate all the things we have to be grateful for. Going into this new year, I will set new goals and create a vision board for the things I hope to continue working towards; however, before I do any of that, I want to be sure that I take a moment to pause and acknowledge all of the things that I am grateful for right now in this present moment.
I want to walk into 2023:
already grateful,
already fulfilled,
already proud of myself,
already appreciative
I deserve that!
Also, my future success can only be enhanced when I can give myself credit now for all that's already been accomplished. If we fail to celebrate ourselves now, we will continually struggle to celebrate our success, and we will be in a constant state of yearning, and unlike my son, we will be blind to the perfect moments that exist in our lives today.
As we spend our final moments in 2022, I encourage you to consider your current perspective and take this 3 R's challenge before making your new year's resolutions.
REST
Yes, I said it....REST. I know that it seems nearly impossible to do that because the nature of the holiday season means busier schedules, more added to the to-do list, maybe kids at home and on break looking at you for what to do next, or you may be hosting a few events. However, consider this your permission slip to allow yourself some time to rest. Let's resolve to try our best not to enter the new year completely exhausted. Let's not convince ourselves that we need to do more, more, and more. Instead, let us focus on prioritizing rest so we may also learn the importance of doing that throughout the year. Rest looks different for everyone. For you, maybe it means doing nothing or more sleep, saying no, or putting a little less on your to-do list. Whatever it means for you, promise me that you will make it a priority.
REFLECT
Reflection is an important yet often overlooked step in closing out the new year because it's very easy for our minds to focus on the things that were heavy, sad, disappointing, or any loss we may have experienced. Reflecting on those things can stir up emotions that are challenging to process and maybe haven't fully healed; therefore, avoiding it altogether can feel like the best option. However, healing comes when we create space to allow ourselves to feel, and to acknowledge how we feel, but it's also important that our time of reflection doesn't get robbed by the spiral of negativity. We also want to give time and space to acknowledge the things that we are proud of over the last year.
My suggestion for this time of reflection is to consider (my favorite) rose, thorn, and seed journaling tool. This tool ensures that we honor the roses, the positives, and the highlights and acknowledge the thorns, those things that were challenging or especially difficult that we may have experienced over the last year. Additionally, it allows us to ponder the seeds we have planted for the future. I encourage you to grab a paper or your favorite journal to write these down. Not only does this help in the process, but it can also be kept, and it is nice to look back on as you reflect year to year.
RESET
My final recommendation as we approach the new year is to hit the proverbial reset button. I only wish I could suggest a store where you could purchase this button, making it as easy as it sounds, and it would have the ability to determine what things needed to be removed and what could stay. Remember the easy buttons from the staples commercials? The ones that, with one press, your worries were gone? Wouldn't it be lovely if that was a real thing?
I recognize that it is most definitely more complex. That being said, we are more powerful than we give ourselves credit for, and our minds have the capability to reset if given the opportunity. As we step into the new year, we must provide ourselves with the best start by questioning and evaluating what we will carry into the new year. Are the things we currently hold still bringing out the best in us? Is it possible that what or who you have been holding onto has become like weighted sandbags, holding you down and preventing you from growing and evolving? It's invaluable that we acknowledge we all carry baggage, and some of this stuff has been taking up too much real estate in our lives. What or who is no longer in alignment with your life path? We must learn the importance of releasing and letting go.
Therefore, I encourage you to be extremely intentional about what and who we carry with us into this new year and new start. It's not necessarily about being a "new you" and more about allowing yourself the opportunity to let go so that you may feel lighter and refreshed in your new beginning. Ask yourself who and what deserves to take up space in your life and what you must leave behind to continue to become and evolve into your best self.
I wish you a Happy New Year filled with love and light. Hoping that this new year brings you a joyous fresh start. May all your hard work lead to fulfilled purpose and joy. May this new chapter lead you to discover a world where hopes and desires are restored.
Sending my love to you and yours!
Happy New Year!
with love,
Vanessa