Learning to Choose Myself
- Vanessa L Bryant
- Oct 6
- 2 min read
As I sat in the corner of my bedroom, looking out the window, the house quiet and still, I realized something about myself: stillness is not my strongest suit.
It’s in the stillness that I can’t outrun my thoughts — the ones that whisper questions I try to avoid.
“Why didn’t they choose me?”
“Am I enough?”
“Am I really equipped for this chapter of life?”
And even as I remind myself that God promised I’m never alone, there are moments when loneliness still finds me.
Then, almost as if on cue, I hear what’s softly playing on the Alexa in the background — “Choosing Myself” by Naomi Raine.
Something about that song title hits different in that moment.
I begin to realize that so many of my questions, doubts, and insecurities come from a lifetime of seeking validation outside of myself — from people, from roles, from opportunities, from achievements. All these external measures I thought could define my worth.
It’s only been in these past few years that I’ve started to understand what it means to find peace in who I am without needing approval to confirm it. To recognize that validation rooted within is the only kind that lasts.
Choosing myself doesn’t mean I’m closing myself off to others — it means I’m honoring who I am becoming.
It’s remembering that I can be both growing and worthy, both healing and whole.
It’s saying yes to rest when I’d rather hustle.
It’s setting boundaries without guilt.
It’s pursuing what aligns, not just what looks good.
It’s forgiving myself for the times I settled for less because I didn’t yet know my more.
Learning to choose myself has been a journey — one marked by unlearning, releasing, and returning home to me. And maybe that’s what stillness is really about: not the absence of movement, but the invitation to sit with who you are and still say — I choose you.
A Gentle Challenge for the Last Quarter of the Year
As we step into these final months of the year, I invite you to make choosing yourself a daily practice. What would it look like — in action — for you to choose you?
Maybe it’s slowing down when everything in you wants to rush. Maybe it’s speaking up when you’d normally shrink back. Maybe it’s giving yourself permission to dream again, to rest, to heal, to start fresh.
Whatever it looks like, choose you — not someday, not when it’s convenient, but now. Because the way you finish this year begins with the way you honor yourself today.
And I can promise you choosing you will be the best choice you make.
And if you’re looking for a space to be reminded of your power, your purpose, and the beauty of choosing you — join us at Unleashed Summit on November 8th. It’s a full day designed to pour back into you — your wellness, your growth, your next chapter. Come invest in yourself, choose yourself, and watch the magic that happens when you do.
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